A Review of The Muppets, or “If there was a ever time I wanted them to adapt a movie into a television show it would be now.”

I wish I could bring myself to begin this review by writing the opening lines to the original Muppet Show “It’s time to play the music/ It’s time to light the lights” but that seems silly. Yes, the Muppets are back: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Fozzie, The Swedish Chef, Dr. Benson Honeydew et cetera et cetera. If you had a favorite Muppet, they probably show up along with a number of celebrities who have cameos from the glimpse, Mickey Rooney, to plot point, Jack Black. It’s like playing “Gosh, that person looks familiar, aren’t they famous?” Bingo.

The movie follows Walter (Peter Linz), a Muppet, and his human brother Gary (Jason Segel), longtime fans of the Muppet Show on their way to Los Angeles to see the old Muppet Studios. In reality, the trip is to celebrate Gary and his girl friend Mary’s (Amy Adams) ten-year anniversary. When the trio reaches the Muppet Studios, they discover it is in disrepair and will be sold to Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) who wants the property in order to get the oil underneath. That is unless Kermit buys back the theater, although he seems to have forgotten about it.

What ensues is a movie light in plot but big in laughs. Yes, Walter, Gary, and Amy have to find Kermit. Yes, they go off and get the Muppets back together. Yes, they need to raise an absurd amount of money in order to save the theater and studios. Yes, they have to put on a show, including finding a special guest. Finally, yes, Gary ignores Amy leading to your standard romantic comedy split and rejoining of the couple, which I will admit was rather cute.

The movie is entertaining, and the musical numbers are fun if not necessarily worthy of a Flash Mob. The various minor plots that form the movie were interesting enough to keep me from looking at my cell phone in the theater, a rare occurrence I assure you. The Muppet performers were as amazing as ever, and while they sounded older, it added to the film, giving it a quality found only in sipping a fine wine or aged cheese. The human actors were as entertaining as their puppet counterparts; Jason Segel and Amy Adams were adorable together. With Chris Cooper playing up his villain to a ridiculous yet restrained level. I applaud them.

If there is one criticism I have of this otherwise entertaining delight of a romp through nostalgia, it is that despite its name, the Muppets at times felt like an afterthought. The time would be better spent on the Show itself, its acts, and reminding the audience, old and young, just how crazy and fun the Muppet Show could be. Instead of the shortest romantic comedy filmed. I also did not care for Walter: the nerve he struck was not quite Jar Jar Binks, but more aggravating than Revenge of the Sith Padmé when she gives up on life because her husband is emo. I ended up wanting Walter to fall into a volcano and have no one try to rescue him.

Overall, I enjoyed this trip down memory lane. Although, as an individual who grew up only on reruns, that trip was rather brief, I suppose in the end it was more like a trip around the memory block to the corner store. If there were ever a time I hoped a company would decide to try and rake in as much money as possible out their franchise, now is that time.

Horror Movies to Hook Up To Presents: Trick ‘r Treat (2009)

Even if Halloween is still a few months away, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a good scream fest. What better way to celebrate Halloween in June (Give it time it’ll catch on like Christmas in July) then by watching a terrifying movie? It will save you money on your air conditioning bill with all those spine tingling chills, and you get some sweet make out time. Science has proven that fear is a wonderful aphrodisiac. Why? Who cares but it’s been proven by scientists, in their science outfits, in labs.

Where was I? Oh right, a Halloween themed movie for those non-Halloween nights.

Trick ‘r Treat is set in an Ohio town celebrating Halloween like they’re Greenwich Village, look it up, and visited by a spirit whose only purpose seems to be announcing impending doom and being a creeper, A creeper in an outfit made of adorable shabbiness. The main stories are about a serial killer and his latest victim with an angelic child who testifies what we’ve all been thinking about Charlie Brown. Next we got some pretty, I guess they are pretty, girls out for a night on the town. Including TrueBlood’s own Anna Paquin who decides to wander through town, alone, and later a dark forest...alone. It’s a horror film and pretty girls do rather silly things. Please note it is Anna Paquin by herself, and if you watch Trueblood than you can guess what happens to her. My favorite segment involves a town legend about a bus of drowned schoolchildren and some jack o lanterns with a revenge plot worthy of a Shakespearian play. Tie it all together with a bitter old man, and his adorable little dog, who learn the true meaning of Halloween.

One of the best features of this movie is how the stories interconnect. It’s linear only in the sense that you see what happens over the course of a night. The film jumps between different moments occurring simultaneously a second watch is necessary to pick up on all the little details. If you prefer more shock and less intestines, then this is a film for you. Everything from costumes, whether childish or slutty, to candy bars, to pumpkin carving are rendered creepy and dare I say gruesome. Yes, I do say. There are a couple hokey gotcha moments but those are few and far between with plenty of gruesome deaths involving children and drunks.

If you see one Halloween themed film not involving men in coveralls or overly complicated traps, let it be this one. Everything about this film oozes Halloween, the costumes, the pumpkins, the falling leaves, the decorations. It’s what I wish Halloween was really like, all the tradition, and the threat that those traditions are really there to protect us from something darker.