"Everbody Dies": House M.D. Comes to a Close

Eight years ago, when I was in the middle of high school and generally too busy proto-texting through AIM to watch much television, my father suggested that I join the family to watch a new show that was debuting on the Fox network.  Even then I was generally in the habit of taking my father’s advice, but I wasn’t especially impressed by his description of a medical procedural with an unlikeable protagonist based on the literary detective Sherlock Holmes (this was 2004, before I had read any Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Robert Downey Jr. was still recovering from his stint on “Ally McBeal”).  However, after watching House, M.D.’s pilot, “Everybody Lies,” little doubt remained for me, and eight years later, I sat down with my parents to watch the show’s conclusion, “Everybody Dies.”

God Bless The USA Network

And for good measure a group of really really good looking people

Last week USA premiered its newest original show Common Law, featuring two detectives so dysfunctional they have to be put in couples’ counseling so that they can learn to work together.  The pilot was very enjoyable and a great addition to the network that proclaims “Characters Welcome.”  It also got me thinking about this supposedly second tier cable network and how apart they are set from every other channel on television.

Screenfix: Assemble!

. . . And there came a movie, a movie unlike any other, a movie that was so over hyped that no single reviewer could critique it alone.  After four years, in the waiting The Avengers (aka Avengers Assemble internationally) has hit theaters to critical praise and record setting financial success.  Of course the ScreenFix crew was there opening weekend to see the film and give our impressions.  ScreenFix Assemble!

Choke: A Review of a Tuesday Night After-School Special

Choke: A review of  aTuesday night After-School Special

By: Kyle Lawson

I have not been sure what to make of Glee this season. I have never really enjoyed the show, and my hostility has only grown stronger as I watch them ruin my favorite songs. Said anger abates when they wow me. I am looking at you Naya Rivera, if they have not already cast Johanna Mason for Catching Fire I hope they call you. The current season has regrettably taken a darker turn. It has become the After School Specials for a new generation, and one that does not always have the best message. I suggest you read the review written by Zoe Wintler-Cox and Scotty Viera to see how Glee passes over the legitimate problems of Quinn.

Today I am focusing on the latest episode Choke. One of the darkest and saddest episodes since the death of Jean Sylvester. What could and should have been an episode dedicated to domestic abuse, recognizing the signs, providing support, and offering ways to escape had to share the spotlight with Rachel and Kurt in their audition for NYADA.

The storyline with Coach Beiste and her dealing with an abusive husband, was like every other character discovered shocking. The show has always presented Beiste as this impressively sized but softhearted woman who would never hurt a fly. Her husband the loveable goofball, is behind closed doors a mean spirited drunk. A reality that many victims of domestic violence and their families can attest to, in the real world villains don’t wear tracksuits. It was heart breaking and the moment I realized that I was attached to a character on this show.

To watch Beiste slowly break down, first claiming she had been injured while boxing. Something that my companion pointed out was obviously a lead in, but that I had hopes would not be. Watching her unable to handle the ladies performing the “Cell Block Tango”, and becoming an emotional wreck and unable to escape was just short of being too much. This is why I hate this episode for including that utterly pointless filth of a final audition.

Watching Kurt perform “Music of the Night” and than miraculously being fully prepared to perform “Not the Boy Next Door” was the eye rolling over-the-top rubbish on which this show thrives. Considering the alternate storyline it was a miss, but otherwise an excellent performance. Thank the Blessed Flippn’ Virgin he didn’t perform Phantom. If he had, I really wanted Whoppi to go down to the stage and slap him. That I feel that strongly is an indication that Glee has forced me to except more emotion and drama from Kurt’s performances. A personal touch and loner streak that he has always shown through the past three seasons came to ahead in that performance.

I suppose I should mention Rachel, the wannabe diva who choked during her performance of “Rain on My Parade.” I wish I could feel bad for her, I wish I could feel some modicum of satisfaction at watching her failure. Maybe I am getting jaded, but I felt nothing but annoyance and a desire for the episode to end. Especially since I am willing to make a bet she gets in anyway after Whoopi sees her perform somewhere else. In short, I just don’t care.

Besides Coach Bieste there was one more storyline, while it had potential, that felt as if the writers forced it out like bad curry. Puck’s “I may not be able to graduate” dilemma. A great idea for a three episode story arc, but not one episode. His dad suddenly reappearing to borrow money, his realization of wanting to be a better father to his daughter, a desire he has expressed numerous times. This episode could have been the beginning of Puck maturing, of him stepping away permanently from his bully past. It falls flat, it feels ridiculous, and only cements why I hate this show. For all the enjoyment I get out of those more-common-than-I will-admit moments, I hate it. It makes my insides crawl and I want to pull my eardrums out through my eyes. Elements are thrown together to pull the heart strings, but in the end nothing changes, I expect better.

More time is spent on watching Rachel fall apart, than on Coach Biests trying to find the courage to go forward, or Puck staring down the barrel of a gun. In the end, the show returns to the same place. There is no happy ending for any of them, if it does not include Rachel being on Broadway. She is the diva of the show and a poor one at that. Shame on you writers, for shame.

All that said, I adored Whoopi Goldberg as Carmen Tibideaux. She had the sense of oppressive superiority and fear inspiring devotion that a true diva should bring, while never turning into a Whitney Houston, God rest her soul. Her lines could have been cruel or condescending, but she turned each one into a joke thick dry humor. Her praise of Kurt and reminding him how far he still needs to go was beautiful. While her rejection of Rachel was a kind, but much needed reality slap. Ms. Goldberg gave her character life, far more than any other guest star, there was behind every sentence a lifetime of experience. It is because of her that I will return next week, no matter how begrudgingly. 

Kindle Fire Review

Following last week’s slightly screenbreaking review of music, it feels right to continue the trend and review a “screen.” I recently purchased Amazon’s Kindle Fire. In trying to decide if I should purchase the tablet, I found a ton of cruelly unfair or obviously biased reviews. As a Screenfix writer, I’m not one to let that stand. I’ll try to answer a few of the questions that I asked when I was looking to buy.

Screenfix does not recommend holding your Kindle Fire like this EVER

Deciphering Eve 6's Return

Though it’s admittedly a stretch of our clever moniker, we here at ScreenFix do keep our eyes—or more appropriately our ears—on the world of music as well as film, television, and interactive entertainment.  This week, we’d like to bring your attention to the resurgence of an alternative rock band that is releasing their new album, “Speak in Code,” next Tuesday, April 24^th: Eve 6.

Radio Musings

I never used to listen to the radio. Not for any grand moral convictions about the state of radio or the music industry at large, I have just always managed to live in places with horrible reception. It’s a bit hard to get pumped up to clean some dishes to static.

Well now I am the proud owner of a 90 min commute home (on a good day) and car with a radio, we need to have a talk. I like you radio, I really do, you entertain me and have been the cause of quite a few impromptu dance parties in the car. Without you radio, I would have listened to the same iPod songs over and over again and would most likely have been murdered by my coworker and car co-captain, Scotty. Despite how this sounds, this is not going to be a giant rant about everything that is wrong with radio, more general observations of five things the radio has exposed me to.