New On Fox: A Look at Fall 2011

Last week Fox released its schedule for Fall 2011 and Spring of 2012. Returning are some old favorites including House, Glee, and Bones, set to continue airing at their usual times. Surprisingly, Fringe continues to hold on to one of the Friday night death slots, previously used to kill of shows such as Dollhouse and Firefly.

New this Fall:

• New on Monday night is Terra Nova, a science fiction adventure. The year is 2149 and Earth is overcrowded and overdeveloped. Luckily, a particle accelerator unexpectedly finds a fracture in time that allows travel back to prehistoric Earth. The decision is made to start resettling people in the past with the hope of creating a better future. The story follows the Shannon family as they look for a new beginning, however they quickly discover that things are not as awesome in dinosaur times as they seem. Terra Nova looks interesting and potentially enjoyable. To me it seems like a crossover between the Swiss Family Robinson and Jurassic Park but with time travel. The cast is filled with actors with some experience, from shows that I have never heard of, but with Steven Spielberg listed as an executive producer, it might stand half a chance of success.

• New for Tuesday is New Girl (working title), a half hour sitcom staring Zoe Deschanel as Jess Day, a “offbeat and adorable girl in her lat twenties who, after a bad breakup, moves in with three single guys” (fox.com). Awkward moments and hilarity ensue as they, along with Jess's best friend Cece, become a dysfunctional sort of family. Overall, the trailer for the show contains a few funny moments and seems to be well suited for a short slot between Glee and Raising Hope. I'll probably catch the first few episodes online and decide if it's worth following.

• The next new non-reality show for the new Fox fall line up is a comedy called I Hate My Teenage Daughter (working title), which will be airing at 9:30pm on Wednesday nights. Annie (Jamie Pressly) and Nikki (Katie Finneran) star as best friends and single mothers trying to raise their teenage daughters. Annie and Nikki's original intent was to give their daughters the lives they themselves never had, but inadvertently the mothers end up creating new versions of the girls who bullied them through their teenage years. Realizing their mistakes, they now must try to fix what has been broken. I Hate My Teenage Daughter looks like it might have some funny moments as it takes a comedic look at the sometimes complicated mother-daughter relationship dynamic.

• I would be remiss in a review of Fox's fall TV lineup if I did not mention the two and a half hours it will be dedicating to The X-Factor on Wednesday (8-9:30) and Thursday (8-9) nights. This is the same block of time reserved for American Idol in the spring and is another variety of singing competition. The X Factor is really going to have to be something special if they hope to make it distinctive from every other singing competition on television, especially with Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul as judges on the show. Joining them are Antonio “L.A.” Reid and Cheryl Cole. I'm really not sure how I feel about Fox dedicating so much time to yet another singing completion. We all know that there are people in America who can sing. Pick a new topic, please.

• I also feel the need to mention Allen Gregory, the new addition to Fox's Sunday night comedy lineup. The show is about an ultra-smart and pretentious seven year old who leaves the homeschooling of his father to join elementary school with children his own age. The show looks to be about in line with the rest of the Fox Sunday night shows,which have never really been an interest to me, but some people find hilarious. If you like shows like Family Guy and The Simpsons, it might be worth it to check out Allen Gregory, airing at 8:30 on Sunday night.

For a more detailed description of the above mentioned shows, check out http://www.fox.com/programming/. Stop back sometime in the winter months for a look at the new mid-season pickups including Alcatraz, The Finder, and Napoleon Dynamite. Feel free to sound off below on your thoughts for new TV this Fall on Fox.

CW Upfronts Witches and Twins and Dixie Oh My

Oh CW, the pretentious side of me wants to hate you far more than I do. The CW announced their fall schedule earlier this week and there were only two major cancellations and four new shows to announce. Hellcats, which I didn’t care about and Life Unexpected, which I heard was good, both got the axe and sit tight because I’m going to go through all the new pickups. I also totally lifted all of the summaries and credited them below because, if you’ve ever read my movie reviews with Scotty, you know I can’t write them.

The Ringer
Stars: Sarah Michelle Geller (Buffy)
Airing: Tuesdays at 9:00, hour drama
Premise: A young woman on the run from the mob poses as her wealthy twin sister to try and evade them, but soon discovers that her sister has a price on her head as well. [IMDB]
First Reaction: If I could raise my eyebrow at this, I would. But hey, there have been stranger premises that worked.
After Seeing the Preview: Well that didn’t elaborate at all. Lies, secrets, Sarah Michelle Geller falling through walls, what more could you want. Seriously though, even with very little to go on it does look exciting and might even be good.
Suggestion: DVR

Hart of Dixie
Stars: Rachel Bilson (The O.C.), Jaime King
Airing: Mondays at 9:00, hour dramedy
Premise: A wholesome small-town drama about a NYC doctor who moves to a small town in the American South to become a general practitioner. She discovers regular folk who actually need her help, some unexpected family ties and a mess of damn fine Southern boys just waiting to become her boyfriend. [E!]
First Reaction: This makes me want to go out and rescue kittens. It also sounds terrifically boring, like Gilmore Girls without the witty banter.
After Seeing the Preview: Oh look, she’s a Manhattan doctor and there were Southern Belles in costumes that looked like they were borrowed from the Vampire Diaries. I didn’t think I could want to see this show less.
Suggestion: Skip

The Secret Circle
Stars: Young People I don’t know
Airing: Thursdays at 9:00, hour drama
Premise: The "Secret Circle" series follows 16-year-old Cassie, who moves from California to live with her mom in New Salem and falls in love with a mysterious boy named Adam. But, when she enrolls in high school there, she realizes that he, she and all the other elite students at the school are witches! She befriends their leader, Diana, but soon discovers that Adam and Diana are dating, which leads to a whole bunch of complicated drama. [IMDB]
First Reaction: I’m going to quote Jennifer Arrow on this, “The Secret Circle is a series about witches that is (a) based on source material from the same author as The Vampire Diaries, (b) produced by the same team that produces The Vampire Diaries, and (c) airing on the same night as The Vampire Diaries. But it's about witches, which is different, and it's set in Washington state instead of in Virginia. So...different.” [E!] Now, I watch the Vampire Diaries and will give it credit for being surprisingly funny with some well written characters, even if half of them suffer from some sort of Jesus complex. So, this may have potential, even if this whole thing takes place in New Salem, WA. Did we really need to name the town that? Will people not get it otherwise?
After Seeing the Preview: Does the CW have one font for its previews? From what I can tell, if you don’t like The Vampire Diaries, you’re probably not going to like The Secret Circle. It looks a tad overdramatic with characters who apparently have the most lenient teachers ever because they are literally never in school. If they can infuse the same humor into this show that they did with the Vampire Diaries, I think it will be worth watching.
Suggestion: Check it out

H8R
Stars: Mario Lopez
Airing: Wednesdays at 8:00, hour reality
Premise: Celebrities go head-to-head with civilians who hate them to win their "haters" over. [CW]
First Reaction: If this is why they moved America’s Next Top Model to 9 pm, at least I won’t have to watch previews for this show.
After Seeing the Preview: Yes, because I really want to watch a show about Snookie-caliber celebrities confronting jerks on the internet who say bad things about them.
Suggestion: Skip it

CBS Upfronts: Doing So Well, My Snarky Titles are Useless

If we were to rank networks by how well they're shows do, CBS would be waving at the rest below them with fans of hundred dollar bills. What else would you expect from the network home to both CSI and NCIS? It also means that some of the shows CBS decided to cancel had ratings NBC would have killed for. $#*! My Dad Says, Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior, Mad Love, Medium, and The Defenders all got the axe. They also cancelled Chaos, but I literally have no idea what that is so maybe that one deserved it. So what does the big eye have for us in terms of replacements? All premises were stolen and are credited below.

Two Broke Girls
Stars: Kat Dennings (Thor) and Beth Behrs
Airing: Mondays at 8:30, half hour comedy
Premise: A street-smart waitress (Kat Denning) makes friends with a gone-broke trust-fund princess (Beth Behrs) when they get a job at the same diner. [Time]
First Reaction: Get it? It’s the odd couple, but with girls. Yay creativity!
After Seeing the Preview: I'm on the fence about this. On the one hand, I do like Kat Dennings' delivery and there were some funny moments in the preview. However, the other one looks and acts like Paris Hilton. They even make a Paris Hilton joke. They're so timely and hip with the kids.
Suggestion: DVR

How to Be a Gentleman
Stars: David Hornsby (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Kevin Dillon (Entourage), Dave Foley (tons of stuff), Mary Lynn Rajskub (24)
Airing: Thursdays at 8:30, half hour comedy
Premise: The series chronicles the friendship between an uptight columnist (Hornsby) and his more freewheeling trainer (Kevin Dillon). [Wikipedia]
First Reaction: Get it? It’s the odd couple, but with…oh wait. Yay creativity!
After Seeing the Preview: I'm still not totally sold on the premise but the preview looked genuinely funny. It made me chuckle at one point and sort of reminded me of How I Met Your Mother. If they can keep the "aren't they all terribly wacky" factor low and rely more on smart writing and good delivery, this could do quite well.
Suggestion: Watch

Unforgettable
Stars: Poppy Montgomery (Without a Trace)
Airing: Tuesdays at 10:00, hour drama Premise: Poppy Montgomery plays a cop who forgets almost nothing—literally; she is one of a rare set of people who can remember every moment of their lives. The catch: the one day she can't remember is the long-ago day her sister was murdered. [Time]
First Reaction: I will admit to not being a huge fan of procedurals but this is a twist on the old standard that might actually give it some life and character. Also, Poppy Montgomery is the best name ever.
After Seeing the Preview: I looked this up on IMDB and apparently this show was renamed at some point in its production life and used to be called The Rememberer. That is such a stupid name. It also makes me think that they're using this "she can remember things" as more of a gimmick excuse to make another procedural than to actually make an interesting show. The dialogue sounds forced and apparently, when she lets her emotions "rule her," her memory powers don't work so well. I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. How they visually convey that she's using her super memory does look interesting but I'm not sure its enough to save the show.
Suggestion: Wait for reviews of the pilot

A Gifted Man
Stars: Patrick Wilson (Watchmen), Jennifer Ehle (Pride and Prejudice)
Airing: Fridays at 10:00, hour drama
Premise: Patrick Wilson plays an insufferable but brilliant surgeon who gets life lessons from the ghost of his ex-wife. [Time]
First Reaction: Ummm…what do you expect me to do with this CBS? A Gifted Man has officially taken The Ringer’s place as the number one wackiest Premise that I’ve heard this week.
After Seeing the Preview: This show is still stupid. Ok, let me rephrase that, this is going to make a stupid TV Show. TV movie or regular movie fine, but I have no idea how they will keep this going week to week. Now, the preview did actually look good. Apparently Jennifer Ehle was a clinic doctor while Patrick Wilson is a highly paid surgeon and he has to help her finish her unfinished business, namely logging into her computer at the clinic to get all kinds of needed info because none of the clinic staff can do it. I'm also sure she's also going to teach him about life and love because, after all, what else are ghosts for?
Suggestion: DVR the pilots and second episode

Person of Interest
Stars: Michael Emerson (Lost) and Jim Caviezel (The Passion of the Christ)
Airing: Thursdays at 9:00, hour drama
Premise: Michael Emerson plays a software billionaire who developed a program to analyze surveillance material gleaned by the government. With it, he can discern patterns and determine when a crime will occur before it happens; he recruits an ex-agent (Jim Caviezel) to be his vigilante. [Time]
First Reaction: In the race to create the next Lost, CBS has JJ Abrams and Ben so you all can suck it. But really, it’s Ben and Jesus fighting crime together!
After Seeing the Preview: Ben and Jesus fighting crime! Yes, I know it's darker and deeper than that and Jim Caveisal is not playing Jesus but Michael Emmerson is pretty much playing Ben so I will take what I can get. It looks cool and action packed, suspenseful and a bit mysterious. See Ringer, this is how you sell an "I don't know what's going on" thriller. Give enough to know the premise and what to expect without giving away the goods. Simply not knowing what's going on is not going to make me watch it.
Suggestion: Watch it

Bridesmaids: Jon Hamm Strikes Back

Zoe: We had quite the ordeal in order to see this movie.

Scotty: Actually I had quite and ordeal trying to see this movie, Zoe just waited confused.

For 45 minutes.

Yes, I’m just as upset about it as you are. So while Zoe types up the summary of the film, I will explain what happened.

Bridesmaids is about Annie (Kristin Wiig), who’s had a bit of a personal crisis. Her bakery failed, she’s sleeping with an asshole (Jon Hamm), she’s living with some strange Brits, and her car’s a piece of crap. Then her friend Lilian (Maya Rudolph) asks Annie to be her maid of honor. Annie’s in charge of planning all the bridal party events and hilarity ensues.

So, Zoe called from the Metro, saying she would need to be picked up for the movie in about 40 minutes. I thought, “Hey that’s enough time for a run around the neighborhood.” So I put on my shorts and a tank top that showed way too much of my sports bra, grabbed my iPod and headed outside thinking that I had left the door to the garage unlocked. Of, course, the door was locked. Without keys or a cell phone, I did the natural thing and kicked the door a couple (or more like a dozen) times while cursing profusely.

At this point, I was cursing the stupid kids in uniforms on the only bench at the Kiss and Ride that were keeping me from sitting down. Heels will do that to a girl.

I could have given up then and waited for Zoe to find my mummified corpse days later,. But no, I’m a problem solver. So, I went through my father’s tool box to find something to pick the lock with. (I learned quickly that nails don’t work.)

Apparently, lock picking is really hard. Then I had a sudden brainstorm Maybe the door from our back porch to the house was unlocked. Unfortunately, the porch was dead bolted from the inside. So I did the logical thing and cut a hole in the porch’s screen with a screwdriver.

At this point, I was reasonably sure A rabid Yorkie had mauled Scotty.

I was quite pleased with myself until I realized the door from the porch to the house was also locked. So, I ended up asking my neighbor for a ride. Thank you Elmer!

We had to go pick up a third friend and we were still only five minutes late. It was magic.

Totally. On to the review!

We went to see this movie with two of our friends, both women and at the end, we were 50/50 on it.

Basically, me and Zoe liked it and our friends didn’t.

We are not good contrasting opinion-type reviewers.

Well, we can always have a guest reviewer since one of our friends is currently sitting next to us.

Mary, what did you think?

Darn, I have to think now. Well, honestly I wasn’t too excited when Scotty and Zoe told me that this is what we’d be going to see. Actually, let me rephrase that. I was really disappointed that I missed Thor last week and was stuck seeing some combination of raunchy, foul-mouthed comedy and chick flick.

That’s where I was wrong. Bridesmaids is not a raunchy, foul-mouthed comedy about a bunch of women going to Vegas for a wild bachelorette party. The trailers and commercials made it out to be. It was instead a film about friendship, and it taught me a valuable lesson: if any of my friends get married and one of the other bridesmaids is an uppity, elitist biotch, I’m going to throw a tantrum and ruin her chocolate fountain and destroy the expensive decorations at the bridal shower. Just seems like a good idea now.

That chocolate fountain freaked me out. It was like a real, tiered fountain with chocolate instead of water. I’m not a germ freak by any stretch of the imagination but ew.

As a person who hadn’t eaten that day (due to being locked out of my house) it looked pretty damn appetizing.

They had one of those at our prom, didn't they?

They had a food fountain, not a lawn fountain. But I have to agree with Mary, what the trailers and commercials are selling and what the movie actually delivers are two very different things. I actually noticed that a few of the lines from the trailer don’t make the movie.

Yeah, I noticed that as well. It was a shame, since those were probably some of the funniest one liners in this film...and they didn't make it. I was definitely expecting a comedy, and when this movie attempted to be funny, I thought it failed.

Am I the only one who actually liked the “chick flicky” aspect of the film? There are themes here that are very poignant to me, especially the whole “life sucks and the world is out to get me” thing.

I liked it! Bridesmaids is much more concerned with the relationships between its female characters than how they relate to the men around them, contrary to what generally happens in your average chick flick. Even in movies for women, about women, two female characters will serve as antagonists for each other (see Bride Wars and Something Borrowed). Dudes can be buds but girls are bitchy and evil.

Or sluts.

Agreed

The girls in this movie interact in very believable ways, albeit exaggerated. One of the best scenes in the movie for me was a conversation between Annie and Lillian that sounds like one I might have with a friend. It is the women and their relationships with each other that are the center of the story. There’s also a love story but it’s more or less relegated to the B-plot which I definitely think works in the movie’s favor because although Chris O’Dowd (The IT Crowd) is one of the most adorable people in the world, romances as A-plots are boring and not suspenseful.

However, it was a really cute romance.

Yeah, that was pretty much the only thing that saved Bridesmaids for me once I realized that it wasn't going to be a raunchy comedy. I called it that the cop was going to end up as the romantic lead. I was also (sometimes audibly) rooting for Annie to stop being a selfish idiot and for things to work out between her and Rhodes. I got what I wanted.

I also like the raunchy comedy idea. I have eclectic tastes.

It was way more subtle than I was expecting it to be. A lot of the humor comes from sheer ridiculousness, like trying to push over a giant fountain in anger or trying to get pulled over by driving past a cop multiple times doing increasingly illegal things.

Also, Jon Hamm.

That’s right kids, this makes Bridesmaids movie number two that we’ve seen this summer with a cameo by Jon Hamm.

He was hilarious. Honestly, the funniest sex scene I have ever seen was in the first five minutes of this film and it involved him.

Can we start a petition to make Jon Hamm President of Hollywood?

Hollywood is too far away. How about president of New York?

I can’t vote in New York.

Well I can’t vote in Hollywood.

President of Hollywood is like being given the key to the city. You don’t have any real power, but you can walk into any building you want.

How about president of Derwood? He’ll have to live near us.

I think I’d be okay with that.

So do we have any artistic opinions about this movie?

I do! The editing is really inconsistent in Bridesmaids, mostly in the beginning. One second, it’s holding on a scene too long and the next it cuts away before the joke has a chance to sink in. It settles down beyond about thirty minutes in but a good comedy relies on pitch perfect editing so it seemed odd that the beginning was so off.

I didn’t get that, but eh.

I have to prove I got a minor in Film at least once a review.

Now it’s time for me to prove that I have a BA in economics. Is this movie worth the 11 dollars plus the opportunity cost of 125 minutes? I say yes (especially since I’m unemployed). It’s a little weird because you are expecting The Hangover and getting something a little different. For some it might be a bit weird. I really liked it though.

I also say yes, although I was expecting a different movie, the one that exists in its place is funny, surprisingly heart-felt and adorable. The characters can come off as one-dimensional but since we so rarely get a movie about women where they aren’t all just bitches to each other, I say hooray!

We would have a final comment by our guest reviewer but she discovered Scotty’s iPad and Mary is now playing Angry Birds.

We win.

First thoughts on ABC’s Fall Line-Up

ABC’s line-up for the fall has been released and has left me feeling a little less excited than I was following NBC’s announcement. The full listing can be found at comingsoon.net and includes the return of fan favorites such as Grey’s Anatomy, Castle, Modern Family, and Body of Proof, among others. My initial reaction was of stunning indifference; few of the new shows leapt off the page. However, if you look at ABC’s best shows, none of them have a great premise. Castle and Body of Proof sound like cheesy riffs on the familiar police procedural and the rest of the ABC current line-up is variations on sit-coms and workplace dramas. ABC has always led the way with solid writing and acting talent. So without further speculation, here are my top picks among the new ABC drama.

• Charlie’s Angels: If you are unfamiliar with the concept behind Charlie’s Angels you may need to retake History of Television 101. This reboot of the 70’s classic will follow three sexy female detectives as they solve crimes and fight bad guys. There is also a strong possibility that at some point one or more of the main characters will appear in a bikini, but that’s just my speculation. Creators have promised that this reboot will be more serious and less campy then the 2000 movie. The reboot of Hawaii Five-0, has done well and I think Angels could be a fun ride so long as the writers find a way to keep the simple premise interesting from week to week.

• Once Upon A Time: It seems like this year every network is taking a chance on one weird fantasy genre show in an attempt to find the next Lost, and Once Upon A Time is ABC’s. Once Upon A Time follows Emma Swan, as she is reunited with the young son she gave up. Things take a turn for the strange when Emma’s son insists that she is the daughter of Snow White and must travel to the town of Storybrooke, home of the most famous characters of fairy tale lore, who have now been transformed into humans and forgotten their mythical origins by means of The Evil Queen’s curse. The show sounds a little strange on paper, but this mix of fairy tale stories with the “real world” could lead to some interesting story-telling. Emma Swan is played by Jennifer Morrison, well known from House, and I think is a good choice. She has proven her acting chops with supporting roles and should be ready to carry a show as a lead.

• Pan Am: Just as every network is trying to find the next Lost; it seems every network is also trying to create their own version of Mad Men. Pan Am, set in the 60’s, follows the men and women of Pan Am, the largest name in air travel. During this zany time period, pilots are kings, stewardesses are queens and the sky’s the limit. At this point you can see where this is going, and I see little reason to get excited for another period show. Perhaps Pan Am will bring something new to the table that Mad Men, Boardwalk Empire, or NBC’s new The Playboy Club do not, but I rather doubt it. If you really like the period show concept, this might be for you, but I’m putting this one down in the “wait and see” category.

• The River: The River follows the family of Emmet Cole, a TV personality and host of a Survivorman style nature show. However, when Emmet goes missing in the middle of the Amazon, his wife and son must team up with a production company willing to fund the rescue attempt in exchange for the right to film the entire thing. One aspect that might make this show interesting is the fact that the main characters have a camera crew following them around. If this is done in the style of the office it will be irrelevant, but actually showing the crew and the challenge of shooting in the rain forest might be interesting.

ABC has several new comedies premiering in the fall but two stuck out and they both ask the question of what it means to be a man and father.

• Last Man Standing: Tim Allen returns to television as Max Baxter, marketing director for a sporting goods store and ultimate manly man. However, when Max’s wife returns to work he is forced to take a more active role in the lives of the couple’s three daughters. It’s hard to tell a good comedy from the elevator pitch but I think the combination of Tim Allen in this odd man out set-up could lead to some good moments of comedy.

• Suburgatory: Aside from the horrible title, this show sounds pretty interesting; following a single father that moves himself and his teenage daughter out of their New York apartment after finding condoms on her nightstand. Hoping to protect her from the evils of the big city, the two relocate to the suburbs which, as everyone in the real world knows, is just like it is on Desperate Housewives. This show has one thing really going for it and that is the single parent thing. A large number of recent dramas have gotten mileage showing the special connection that is shared between a daughter and single dad and if they take a few notes from shows like Castle and Californication, ABC could have a hit on their hands. Also, Alan Tudyk is slotted for a supporting role, and that can’t hurt.

Well those are my picks for most interesting looking new ABC shows, but that is far from the complete list. Make sure to follow the link to comingsoon.net and check out the full listing of new shows and tell us in the comments which you want to see. Also follow the link here to take a look at our coverage of NBC’s fall line-up

NBC Fall Line-Up

NBC released its fall schedule on Sunday, finally letting us know which of our favorite shows will be returning and what new freshmen shows we have to look forward to. You can check out the full list here and see exactly what NBC has planned come September, but before you do I will take you through the highlights and give you my speculation on what new shows look worth your time and which will be 13 episode flops.

The returning line-up offers little surprise as Parenthood, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Harry's Law, Chuck, Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock are all set to return. The one bit of news here involves cult favorite Chuck, which against all odds has survived cancellation yet again. NBC has stated that this will be the show’s fifth and final season and that they will be moving Chuck from its regular Monday time slot to the Friday death slot. I think the show has had a great run and since the writers know this will be the last year going in, I think we can expect a great final season. As for the move to Fridays, I don’t think this will have much effect on the show that has shown just how loyal its fans can be. After fans flocked to out to buy Subway sandwiches to show support for the show, I think making the move to Friday nights will not be a problem.

NBC has six new dramas airing for the fall season and while I encourage you to follow the above link and read more about all of them I am going to single out three that have me particularly excited.

· Grimm takes the classic “what if all story-book monsters were real?” motif that has been the basis for both Supernatural and Buffy The Vampire Slayer. A homicide detective discovers he is one of the last remaining Grimms, people with the ability to see and fight the monsters that plague humanity. If you are a fan of either Buffy or Supernatural, I do not think that this show will be anything new. However, the show has David Greenwalt listed as a creator/executive producer and Greenwalt helped Joss Whedon create both Buffy and Angel and if he brings us more of the same, I for one will be happy.

· The Playboy Club is a new drama that seems to be following in the footsteps of Mad Men and Boardwalk Empire. Set in the 60s, this drama will center around the infamous club located in the heart of organized crime, Chicago. Brian Grazer is set to executive produce; his resume includes 24, American Gangster and Apollo 13. I have not followed either Mad Men or Boardwalk Empire, but with the successes of these other period shows I think this could do rather well. Plus, it never hurts to throw a buzzword like “Playboy” in your title.

· This brings us to Awake, a drama following Detective Michael Brittan in the aftermath of a terrible car crash. Following the accident, Brittan finds himself drifting back and forth between two parallel realities. In one, his wife dies in the accident, but their young son survives. In the other, the wife lives but the couple loses their son. Brittan is left jumping between the two worlds and living through two different tragedies simultaneously. I am very excited for this show and I think if it’s good, Awake could become something akin to what Lost was in its early days. This show has the possibility to be a great genre show while still appealing to a much wider audience. If this show doesn’t get gunned down in its first season I think NBC might have a winner.

I skipped over the nine new comedy pilots that NBC has picked up because none of them really appealed to me and I have never been impressed with the comedies on NBC (with Community the exception that proves the rule). However, I encourage you to check them out by following the link above because with nine different offerings there seems like there is something in there for everyone.

What do you think of NBC’s fall schedule? Which shows are you excited for and which ones do you think will be duds? Let us know which shows you are looking forward to in the comments and we will let you know what we think when these new offerings hit in the fall.

Thor: The Cutest Viking You’ve Ever Seen

Zoe: In place of our usual review tonight, Scotty will take this opportunity to talk about the most important part of Thor. The mind bending hotness that is Chris Hemsworth.

Scotty: I don’t know if it can be put into words...

You can’t see it, but she’s drooling.

Am not...

Most half-hearted rebuttal ever.

Sigh . . . Let me put it like this. Every single straight/bi woman or gay/bi man should see this movie. Don’t worry about the plot, the action, the cinematography, Natalie Portman, or the unpronounceable Swedish words. Just focus on the pretty, pretty, pretty, hot, hot, hot, cute, cute, cute, pretty hot, cute, cute, hot, pretty man.

I almost choked on my cracker watching her type that. She’s not far off though. Even if he rocking a creepy flesh-colored beard.

I totally dug the beard. It made his smiles adorable. The warm fuzzy feeling is going to last for months. His face should be put on the background of cuteoverload.com.

Do you think you can wait a year, or at least until you get some adorable Ryan Reynolds in Green Lantern?

Ryan Renolds may not cure this. But maybe, Alexander Skarsgård will when True Blood’s next season starts up.

You and your Scandinavian blondes....

Hemsworth is Austrailian.

Same difference.

True, they both have sexy accents. (A bit of trivia. The actor who plays Professor Erick Selvig is portrayed by Stellan Skarsgård who is Alexander Skargård’s father. He also has a cool accent.)

…..So anyway, before we get started, I would just like to point out the incredibly targeted marketing that was showed to us in the trailers before the movie started. We saw previews for Captain America, Super 8, Green Lantern, X-Men First Class and Cowboys and Aliens. Our AMC really knows who’s going to see Thor. Also, scrawny CGI’d Chris Evans makes me giggle every time I see it.

He’s also not pretty and doesn’t have dazzling blue eyes....

Also, stay until the end. This is a Marvel movie after all and we need our obligatory Sam Jackson Avengers tie-in

So, first thoughts on Thor. And you can’t talk about how pretty Thor was. Go.

OMG, The Avengers are going to have both Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Hemsworth in it!

Really?

*Gurgle*

Oh dear. That’s the Homer Simpson lusting after a donut noise, just in case you were wondering.

*Gurgle*

Ok, need to snap her out of this.............NATALIE PORTMAN!

God Dammit I hate her... I’m so tired of seeing her in films. Plus she doesn’t deserve the gorgeous-

Stop it.

OK, synopsis. Thor is a film directed by Kenneth Branagh (that guy in almost every Shakespeare movie since the 90’s) that tells the story of the god/alien (I’m still not sure.) of thunder. He’s a brash and impulsive person-

Because aliengodmanthing is too long to type each time.

-who is about to be sort of crowned King of Asgard by his father Odin.

This part wasn’t really all that clear since Odin (Anthony Hopkins) was totally still alive and not going anywhere, and I’m not sure if Thor is ever really supposed to become king and.........yeah.

The coronation thingy (It featured ridiculously great hats; kind of like the Royal Wedding!) is interrupted by a couple of frost giants. Don’t ask. It makes more sense if you see the film.

Sort of.

Thor decides, against his father’s orders, to venture into the Frost Giant realm which I cannot pronounce/spell and kick-ass/take names. After nearly starting a war, Odin decides to teach his son a lesson and banishes him to Earth where he is promptly hit by a car being driven by Natalie Portman pretending to be an astrophysicist. Meanwhile, Thor’s brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is having daddy issues (I think).

Again, not that clear exactly what his issue is, he kind of alternates between Daddy didn’t love me and I want to take over the world because I’m evil.

Yeah, so he schemes and stuff. Just see the movie...

Things blow up and stuff. Do not go see Thor for the story because as soon as you start really looking at it, it’s pretty basic and uninspiring, even a bit confusing. You will also not be able to pronounce anything after you have left the theater.

Maybe if you know Norse Mythology and/or read comic books.

I don’t know, I read the free Thor catch up comic and all it really did was help me catch one in-joke and recognize characters.

Norse mythology, even without Marvelness, is pretty messed up. Did you know that Loki gave birth to an eight-legged horse?

…........what.........

Look it up on Wikipedia.

I just don’t know what to say to that.

Puts the movie into perspective huh?

I’m going to grab some chocolate to forget about that. You literally derailed my thought process with that.

Ok, back on the rainbow bridge.

The movie is definitely able to rise above its source material in one main aspect: humor. Thor is a god of thunder with a giant hammer whose name no one can pronounce, wears a funny helmet and in the comic speaks in thees and thous. This could have very easily have turned into something cringe-worthy to watch. But luckily, Thor ditches the helmet about five minutes in and the movie actually pokes fun at itself quite a bit. It’s like the movie’s saying, “yeah we know it’s silly and no one can pronounce Mjolnir (the name of his hammer). This movie is kind of ridiculous and we’re ok with it.”

It’s kind of the opposite of Iron Man. In that film the main character doesn’t take himself seriously, but the movie does. In Thor the main character takes himself very seriously, but the movie doesn’t.

It knows it isn’t the Dark Knight, and it doesn’t try to be. It’s a fun movie which makes it easier to ignore some of the more glaring plot confusions in the name of enjoying the ride.

I hated Natalie Portman though. I know, superhero films are supposed to always have a love interest, but her character felt a bit forced, (I mean, an astrophysicist? I know astrophysicists her age. She should not be beyond a postdoc) especially since they fall in love in less than two days. Actually, a lot happens in two days. Supposedly, the titular character learns humility and goes through great personal growth. Which is ok, until you realize this movie takes place over a span of 3 days.

It’s like when you realize the whole of Romeo and Juliet happened in a week?

Yes, couldn’t they put a montage in there somewhere? However, if you ignore that, the plot is ok. Well, except for Loki. Loki, in my opinion, was not a good villain. He was too sympathetic. It’s ok when a villain has dimension to him. But, in the end, a villain needs to be villainous. Loki, kind of just seemed to be a kid who wanted to make his daddy proud.

He wasn’t even that terribly mischievous.

Unless it was all an act. Then this movie was deeper than we thought it was. Still, I wanted to hug Loki.

I didn’t. His armor made him look like a bug.

But, again, they minimized the helmets enough that I could ignore it. His acting job was just that great. Actually everyone’s acting was really good.

Kenneth Branaugh can do many things. He can get terrific performances out of his actors, but the man cannot direct a fight scene to save his life. Every time we were treated to a big show stopping action number, it looked like someone fed the cameraman some speed and told the editor to cut five seconds off each shot. So, not only were we treated to some very unnecessary shaky cam but there was nothing for me to focus on. It all just turned into a giant wobbly looking mess.

I saw no shaky cam. And the action scenes were fine, in my opinion. However, there was very little of it for a comic book movie.

It was moving all over the place. I like to be able to appreciate fight choreography but I guess since each time Thor was pretty much fighting CGI monsters there might not have been enough of that to focus on. The first fight on the frost planet was also way too dark, I had trouble making out the action. Just imagine if you were seeing this in 3-D, you wouldn’t be able to see anything!

I still thought it was fine. Maybe because I’m used to my contacts going out of focus, but still.

So in conclusion, did you know Chris Hemsworth is married?

What?

And he has a four year old kid.

Damn it.

You still have Alexander Skarsgård.

She Can Skin a Deer but she Can’t Turn Off a TV: A review of Hanna

Zoe: So Hanna is one of those scary white people with no eyebrows (the only other one I can think of is this guy from Cold Mountain and he totally creeps me out) who has been raised by her equally creepy but really hot Eric Bana dad somewhere where there’s lots of snow. She’s been trained by said creepy Eric Bana for a mission against a Texas-y CIA agent played by Cate Blanchett. But when she takes on the mission, it becomes clear that nobody is what they seem, secrets are abounding, Germans are scary, and there’s lots of running and shaky camera work.

The above is why Zoe doesn’t normally write the summaries.

Scotty: Excuses...excuses... The last summary I did used the phrase “blah blah blah CIVIL LIBERTIES.”

Ok, first thoughts. Go.

HANNA What a roller coaster of a movie. That movie was so much fun. And the soundtrack was amazing. It’s still playing in my head. What was your impression?

The soundtrack was like sitting in a Euro Disco watching people fight. My honest first impression was: at what point in your CIA manhunt is it time to ditch the heels for some sensible shoes? Also, we’ve been hanging out too much; I’ve got you saying movie now.

I use them interchangeably. Also, I think the heels added a lot to the presentation of Cate Blanchett’s character.

I don’t really have all that much to say about Hanna. I felt it was a really well shot, acted and put together movie, if a bit predictable.

Well, you could talk about the visuals. Aside from the shaky cam which you hated so much, I feel this film had an interesting use of visuals. For an action film, it’s very pretty.

I had almost forgotten about the shaky cam. Thanks.

I thought it was cool, but I don’t get motion sickness from a screen.

I hate shaky cam. I get it: you want to make the audience feel like they’re in the thick of it with the characters. However, when you’re shaking it so much that I can’t see what’s going on, it kind of defeats the purpose. Now, I’m not saying all shaky cam is bad. Controlled use of it can look quite nice. Just don’t have your cameraman sprint with a camera. This isn’t Cloverfield; you don’t need to run.

I liked it. So, nyeh.

Let’s also talk about the plot a bit more... It’s not very complicated, though I thought it had an interesting Tabula Rasa thing going on. (This is a disclaimer: I am not a philosopher and i may be using this term in an inappropriate manner.) It’s fascinating to see this girl whose father taught her to skin a deer but didn’t bother to tell her what an electric kettle was encounter the world for the first time. In some parts, it plays like something from National Geographic, only with more violence.

I forgot the movie was PG-13 when we went in, so I kept expecting brains, bloods, guts, and protruding projectiles from people’s bodies, but the violence was actually pretty tame (sort of) with most of it happening off screen. But speaking of unmet expectations......the ending.

Don’t spoil it...

I’m going to do my best here but if you don’t want anything spoiled, skip this paragraph. I’m not going to refer to plot points specifically but just be warned. Basically, there’s no twist. The rest of the movie was so creative visually that I sat there waiting for the plot to mirror that, but it never did. There was no Cloud City grand reveal; the movie just kind of ended. And hey, maybe that was the point, a “there are no twist endings in life” type of thing, but I expected more from you, Joe Wright. The biggest twist is revealed in the movie trailer.

…..I can’t think of what to say next. It’s hard to review good movies. I guess most of our reviews are just us bitching about what were didn’t like. Even the twist ending letdown was only because Blanchett’s character had a complicated relationship with the protagonist. When asked in the film if she ever had children she responded with a pained smile and that she’s “made choices.” In a twisted way, she developed a maternal admiration for Hanna.

All the character relationships are done really well in this movie. So in short, see this movie, it’s awesome and totally worth your $11.

Agreed. But, since this is a late review, be sure to catch it before it leaves theaters.